Not Your Girl
by Theatrefreakazoid1143
Summary: the year is 2013. Carly and Freddie have gotten together, but dont feel happy. Sam is a community college student facing loneliness and depression. Spencer just wants his little sister back. will one reunion change everything for better or worse?
1. Chapter 1

Not you're Girl

The story of how Sam Puckett became a distant memory

Day 477 of their relationship. Carly and Freddie's. It pierced her heart like a dagger. No longer did they have goofy conversations or hang out like they used to. Like when he loved her. Now most days, she found herself sitting on the window seat in her small bedroom in her apartment alone… well with the exception of her cat Frothy, who even though probably didn't understand what she was going through, was a good listener when she was pouring her heart out to him. He comforted her when she was crying, thinking about what could have been if she had never gotten in that elevator with him. Of course she would have never confessed to anyone that she cried about the littlest girly things. No, Sam Puckett was a strong tough girl… or at least she seemed to be…


	2. Chapter 2

April 17th, 2013 Day 378 of the Creddie relationship. It also happened to be her birthday, but somehow, that didn't seem to matter anymore. Not since they got together. I guess she always knew that things were going to change. She knew it from the very minute they broke up. She just didn't know when. And now that change was here, it broke her heart. It slapped her in the face like a cold bucket of water. Ever since they found love within another, nothing was the same. Even when they graduated from Ridgeway, nothing was the same. Her fantasy of running away with Freddie after they graduated was pushed to the back of her mind as she saw her best friend make out with him after they got their diplomas. But even a year later, it was still ever-present in her mind. Like a mistake you made when you were twelve years old, that you will never forget.

Sam got up from her window seat in her tiny one-bedroom apartment. She made her way over to the coat rack by the door and put on her favorite yellow raincoat and rain boots.

She left her apartment and took the elevator down to the first floor. It was raining outside. Hard. Oh how she loved walking in the rain. That way when she was sad, no one would know she was crying.

Sam walked about two blocks to the nearest bus stop and sat down on the wet bench. There was a man wearing a clown suit staring creepily into the shadows of the early afternoon. Oh the crazy people you see in Seattle, she thought. When the bus came she got on slowly, like a character in a dramatic movie she wouldn't watch. She sat on the worn, leathery bus seats looking at the empty street. The rain was pattering against the window, too loud for her taste. As she sat there, she thought about her birthday. Shouldn't turning 19 be something special to celebrate? Obviously not. She hadn't heard from anyone the whole day. Not her mom, not her sister. She didn't really expect to hear from Carly or Freddie, so she ruled them out. When the bus came to a stop, Sam got off and started walking down the 'oh so familiar' street. It was like her feet knew where to go, even if her mind didn't.

She opened the door and stepped inside the Bushwell Apartment building and immediately, she was reminded of her past. She hadn't been to this side of town for about a year. Not since they cut her out of the picture with her favorite scissors. She slowly walked towards the stairs when Lewbert the doorman came out of his office

"No people in my lobby!" he screamed at her.

"I wouldn't want to stay in your lobby if my life depended on it" she yelled back at him on her way upstairs.

When she reached the eighth floor, her stomach filled with butterflies.

She couldn't quite figure out why. She was not afraid. No, she didn't get scared. She walked over to apartment 8D and rang the bell. A young man in his thirty's opened the door. His shaggy brown hair hung in his eyes partially covering the dark circles under his eyes. No doubt, he was surprised to see me.

"Sam? What are you-?"

"Spencer... We need to talk"


	3. Chapter 3

If anybody knew what Spencer Shay was going through, it was Sam Puckett. Ever since Carly and Freddie started dating, his life got worse and worse. His little sister was his best friend. She had always been there for him and he loved her so much. But ever since she started dating Freddie, the time they spent together was less, less and littler. Sam knew what it was like to lose a best friend. Sure, Carly wasn't gone forever, but she seemed mentally distracted from herself, her family and best friend. Spencer hadn't heard from her in weeks. For all he knew, she could be dead.  
Sam walked into his apartment and sat down on the old couch. He sat down next to her.  
"so Sam, not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?" he asked her. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes to reveal dark purple shadows underneath her eyes, probably due to many sleepless nights, he thought  
"Because I'm done. For the last year I've been ignored, cheated and used. I can't live like this anymore. Today is my birthday! Do you think anyone called me? Do you think anyone paid any attention to me? No. Its like, I'm not even alive anymore. I haven't talked to Carly and Freddie in a year. But I bet they don't care. They've forgotten all about me." she sniffled a little and started to cry. Spencer wasn't sure what to do. Sam Puckett didn't cry. She didn't carry on.  
"Um, there, there Sam, it's okay. Um... Everything will turn out fine." he gingerly patted her leg.  
"But what if its not? Spencer, I can't spend the rest of my life pitying myself because all my friends have forgotten about me."  
"Sam don't worry. Carly and Freddie are coming home tomorrow."  
"Really?" Sam's eyes were huge. "What for?"  
"Both Juilliard and NYU are on Spring break."  
"Oh." Spencer got up, not able to stand sitting in silence anymore. He walked into his bedroom and grabbed his hammer, a wrench and a pair of shoes. He walked back into the living room and he heard the door click back into place. Sam was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

April 18, 2013. Day 379 of the Creddie Relationship  
She loved Freddie. She really did. And he loved her. She knew he did. He had told her countless times how he loved her full lips and chocolaty eyes. He prized her dark gently curled hair. He was everything she had ever wanted. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone else. But then why did Carly Shay feel unhappy? She just couldn't put her finger on it. As the two of them sat on the plane, hand in hand, Carly thought what the future held for the two of them. She thought of returning home to Seattle. What would it be like? Would Sam be there? She hadn't heard from her best friend in a year. Of course, she knew that was partially her fault. She was the one who ignored the calls that came everyday, until they stopped coming. She was the one who had listened to 400 messages and hadn't replied. She was the one who stole Sam's guy. Somewhere kkdeep down, she knew she was guilty. Not even a month after they broke up, she fell in love with him. What kind of best friend does that? She did. It was her weakness. Always having the best. She was jealous. Jealous that she didn't have what Sam had. She knew it was wrong. It was wrong to take him from her. And now, it had torn them apart, because of one tiny mistake she made. Carly Shay was a criminal in her own mind.


	5. Chapter 5

April 18, 2013 day 379 of the Creddie relationship.  
Freddie Benson couldn't be happier. He had the girl he had always dreamed of, the job he had always wanted, and was attending the college he needed to go to. He was in the car with two of his best friends, Carly and Spencer. But yet something seemed to be missing in his life. Sam. Maybe the spunky blonde did have an impact on him. A bigger one than he expected. Somewhere inside, he still loved her. Wait a minute, He thought. Is it possible to love two girls at once? Not for Freddie Benson. I mean he loved Carly, more than anything. But...  
They pulled into the parking lot of the Bushwell, and got out. Spencer got their luggage and offered to carry it inside.  
The Bushwell hadn't changed much in a year. Lewbert was sitting at the reception desk trimming his wart hairs. He gave them a dirty look as they passed from the lobby to the elevator. The ride up to the apartment seemed to take forever he thought. Would it still be as quiet and long if Sam were there? Why couldn't she leave his mind? The elevator ride, the kiss, the make out session they had after they broke up. Her face wouldn't leave his mind. Those blonde curls and blue eyes were mesmerizing.  
"hello? Earth to Freddie? Are you getting off the elevator or not?" his girlfriends voice rang through the empty hallway.  
"coming." he said quietly as he got off the elevator to join his girl. They walked into Spencer and Carly's apartment and the memories came flooding back to him. The kitchen where he Carly, and spencer, got attacked by Spencer's protective robot, the couch where he and Sam had heavy make out sessions, the door to the fire escape where he and Sam had kissed. It was crazy, why was he still thinking about her? Simple answer, he still loved her.


	6. Chapter 6

April 19, 2013 day 380 of the Creddie Relationship  
Sam couldn't figure out why she was dreading what she was about to do. Spencer had invited her to dinner and she had hesitantly accepted. She didn't feel like she was ready to face her former best friend. 407 calls she had made during the beginning of the year. 407 to a person she thought was her friend. They seemed to shun her out of their lives. What else could she do? She reached over to the bell and rang it. Spencer opened the door.  
"Sam! Come on in! Carly and Freddie aren't here right now, we ran out of cilantro" Spencer said as Sam follows him into the kitchen.  
"Cilantro? Really Spencer? You hate green foods" Sam laughed as she took a piece of ham out of the fridge and started eating it.  
"Yeah apparently Carly is on this diet where she had to have cilantro" Spencer rolled his eyes. Sam took a seat on the couch and flipped on the T.V. _ Galaxy Wars _was on; the episode where Dark Victor revealed to Logan Moonwalker that he was his father. She didn't remember why she had ever teased the nub about liking it. Now that she was older, she realized that somehow, _Galaxy Wars_ filled the empty void in her life. The void of not having someone. She knew he couldn't love her. After all she did to him? There was no possible way. Besides, he loved Carly.

"Sam? Are you okay?" Spencer called from the kitchen.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking I guess." She hollered back. Spencer came and sat down next to her.

"I know how it feels. To be ignored" He whispered softly. "When Carly went off to college, it seemed like she tried to banish all traces of her former life out of her world. She's changed you know. You won't recognize the girl who walks through that door" Spencer sighed.

Then They walked in.

Sam couldn't believe her eyes. The girl standing in the doorway was not Carly. Sure she was holding freddie's arm in a affectionate way, but she wasn't her. This new girl had dark cropped hair that came to just below her ears, and was wearing a black dress and blood red heels. And the scariest part?; she had a glare on her face. At Sam. This new girl may look like Carly Shay, but it wasn't her.

"Sam? Are you crazy? Get out of my house!" Carly shrieked.

"Carly, honey, now I'm sure theres a reasonable explanation for why Sam is here" Freddie said trying to calm her down.

"Freddie we talked about this. Remember?" Carly sighed angrily as she slammed the cilantro onto the counter. Freddie shot Sam a "I'm sorry, if you knew how much she changed you would understand" look.

"Look Shay. What did I ever do to you?" Sam answered in the same cold, unjust tone of her former best Friend.

"Oh I think you know what you did Puckett" Carly glared

"Uh really? 'Cause I'm kinda lost" Sam glared back.

"Don't you see?" Freddie is still in love with you!"  
"Carly that's not my fault. If anything, it's yours. You are the one who's been nothing but a complete bitch towards me since you two started dating." Carly said nothing for a while. Sam knew it was because she was right.  
"Think of your brother Carly. You've neglected us and treated us like we're fucking dirt. Why are you doing this? This isn't my best friend that I once knew. Deep down, there has to be the Carly Shay that was my best friend. Where is she? Can she make this bitchy Carly go away?" for a second, Carly had a regretful look on her face. Sam turned around and looked into the kitchen. Freddie and Spencer were standing together looking at the two girls.  
"So this is how it ends" Carly said  
"I guess so." Sam said. She couldn't live like this. She should feel bad about letting Carly go. But she didn't. Maybe Carly was the real person holding her down all these years. Not Freddie. Maybe, she just needed to forget about all her friends. They caused her too much pain to go on. Sometimes, she wished that all the pain would go away. That she would die. How would it feel? Dying? The word stuck in her head like the recipe for a perfect ham. She didn't give a damn anymore. She didn't need this.

She looked at Spencer. Then at Carly. Finally at Freddie.  
"I'm sorry" Sam said. Then she turned On her heel and ran out of the apartment, crying. This was it. She was done.


	7. Chapter 7

After Sam left Freddie wheeled around to face his girlfriend.  
"Carly how could you?" he spat at her.  
"I-I-" Carly stammered.  
"I see it now Carly. Sam was right. You bitch. We're done." he said and ran out the door after the girl he always had loved.


	8. Chapter 8

Carly turned around at looked at her brother.  
"Spencer?" she pleaded guilty.  
"I'm sorry Carly. I'm not the kind of person to help someone hurt someone else. You're on your own." then Spencer walked to his room and shut the door.  
"Fine. If no one will help me, I'll take matters into my own hands." she reached into her purse and pulled out a vintage Colt 45 pistol. Loaded. She was going to get her boyfriend back. And revenge.

Carly took the stairs down to the lobby. They weren't there. Only Lewbert.  
"No guns in my lobby" he whined.  
"Shut up." Carly said. She looked out the window and saw her former friend and ex-friend. Making out in the rain. She couldn't believe her eyes. Carly ran out into the rain to find her crazy hallucination true. They weren't just making out, it looked like they were trying to eat each others faces, they were that close. She raised her gun.  
"I don't want to shoot anybody. Freddie step away from her." her friends looked at her and backed away from each other.  
"Carly what are you doing!" Sam screamed.  
"Like I said, I don't want to shoot anyone. Sam leave. And never come back. Ever. " Carly glared.  
"You just couldn't take it could you?" Sam said. "You can't take me loving your boyfriend."  
"You bitch. You fucking bitch."  
She tried to lower her gun. But pulled the trigger instead.

One shot Sam staggered.  
Another shot she clutched the bullet wounds in her lower stomach and shoulder

Third shot she fell.

"Oh. My. God. What have I done?" Carly dropped the gun in the pool of Sam's blood.  
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit" Freddie cursed under his breath. He dropped to Sam's side and Carly dropped next to him.  
"Sam! Sam! Can you hear me! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Carly screamed shaking her best friend. She never meant to kill her. She never meant to hurt her. Just to scare her a little. Tears cascaded down her cheeks falling into a pool at her knees. Freddie was crying too. Sobbing.  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she screamed over and over again. She was scared. And alone. Freddie would never take her back now.  
"Why Carly? Why?" he yelled. "Why did you shoot?"  
"I didn't mean-" she cried.  
"Of course you 'didn't mean it' but look where that's gotten you"

They cried together over all their mistakes until the police came and arrested Carly. She didn't even try to deny the shooting. She was too wasted for that. She didn't care anymore. She deserved it. She watched from the back of a police cruiser her best friend's body examined by police officers and medical teams. They talked a little, then one of the medical assistants get a blanket and covered up Sam's body. Sam was gone. Dead. Forever. And it was her fault. All her fault.


	9. Chapter 9

May 12th, 2013

Freddie sat in the middle of the church next to Spencer and his mom. He was crying. It had been days. Weeks. Months. How long, he didn't know, other than it being too long. Everything was beginning to blur together. And even so, he still couldn't get used to the feeling of being hollow and empty. His best friends were gone. One in jail and the other dead. It was so hard that sometimes he felt like dying. He wished that someone would shoot him so he wouldn't have to live in hell on earth anymore. He took a small piece of skin on his left wrist between his thumb and forefinger and pinched it, hoping that it would help him focus more on the physical pain, rather than mental. It didn't work. Nothing did. The pain of losing two of the most important people in his life wouldn't go away.

The preacher finished his speech and Freddie stood up. Before anyone could tell him otherwise, he walked up to the podium and told the people who stood up to leave, to sit down again.

"Sam… was…amazing. I… love… her" his voice cracked. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this" he stepped down from the podium and ran down the isle of the church and out the door.

He ran through the cemetery passing old, weather-worn headstones. As he ran, tears flowed down his face. At the edge of the cemetery, was a small patch of newly dug-up dirt. He dropped to his knees at the headstone, clearing away the piles and piles of flowers, mourners had laid at the stone before the service. As he cleared away the last few flowers, he could make out the writing on the small stone

Samantha "Sam" Puckett

April 17, 1994- April 19, 2013

"Never say goodbye. Because saying goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting." –Peter Pan

He was sobbing so hard that he was shaking as the members of the funeral service came into view around him. Spencer, unshaven with bags under his eyes, wearing his best suit; his mom, gently crying into a tissue she pulled from her peach colored handbag; Mrs. Puckett, crying like a wounded dog, wearing a black dress she probably got at Goodwill or somewhere like that. And Melanie who although was too lost for words, bent down and laid a hand on Freddie's back as in attempt to comfort him. He looked into her big blue eyes that resembled Sam's so much. Melanie looked like Sam, but would never be Sam. She would never replace Sam. Sam could not be replaced. Why did he keep saying her name?

"Shhh Freddie, its okay. It's so hard I know. But it will get better I promise" Melanie said, fighting back tears.

"No…n-n-no" Freddie stuttered rubbing his hand across Sam's name. Tears dripped slowly onto the headstone as the others slowly left the cemetery

He sat there for hours and hours upon end, wishing for an end to this misery, until it started to rain.

"Don't worry Sam. I'll see you again someday." and with that he turned away and treaded back to Spencer's apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

He took the long way back, needing time to think. When he finally got to the Bushwell, he took the elevator up to Spencer's apartment. He walked slowly down the hallway to the last apartment on the left. He turned the knob. Spencer was not there. He shut the door and locked it behind him, going to sit on the couch. He put his head in his hands, but didn't cry. He didn't have any tears left in him. But he heard crying.

"Spencer?" he cried out thinking it was him. But instead, a curly blonde headed figure slowly treaded down the stairs wearing blue ducky pajamas. She was rubbing her red-rimmed eyes with her fist, trying to erase all traces of tears. She had her bangs pulled back with a barrette showing an awful lump on her forehead.

"Sam?" Freddie could hardly believe his eyes. _She died. _He told himself. _This is not her ghost. You are hallucinating. _

"Freddie!" Sam ran the rest of the way down the stairs and jumped on him. She curled her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck. Freddie kissed her lips. She felt solid. She wasn't a ghost… it was like she was a human.

"Melanie? This isn't a prank is it?" Freddie doubted as he pulled his lips away from hers.

"No it's me. Sam. I promise. Oh Freddie! I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too. Life has been nothing but a hell-hole since you left." Freddie said pulling her closer hoping it wasn't a dream. Sam started to cry again.

"Baby what's wrong?" he said, trying to wipe away her tears, but they kept coming.

"Where did I go?" She asked the question like a small child "Why are you the only one who can see me?" Freddie looked into her big blue eyes looking for a way to tell her.

"Sam… Carly shot you… and… you...you died"

"What?" Sam's face crumpled in sadness. "But then why can you see me?" she demanded. Freddie didn't have an answer. He didn't know.

"Because I never got over you" He said finally. "Nobody else had a relationship with you like I did… although it wasn't the best friendship, we had something special."

"But… I don't want to be dead" she said

"Me either. There was so much I wanted with you"

"Me too…"

They stood in the living room, crying and hugging until Spencer came home.

"Freddie why are you hugging yourself?" Spencer wondered.

"You… you can't see her?" Freddie asked him

"See who?" you and I are the only ones in this room" he looked at Freddie crazily. Freddie looked at Sam who put her finger on her lips, motioning silence.

"Nothing… I must be imagining things" he said.

"Okayy" Spencer said weirdly. He went up the half-steps and turned into his bedroom.

"See what I mean?" Sam pointed out "No one can see me!"

"Shhh not here" Freddie whispered. He grabbed her arm and led her to the back door, leading to the fire escape. He sat down and she sat next to him.

"Freddie… I think I know why I'm here" Sam said fearfully.

"Why?" Freddie said anxiously.

"It's not a good reason. It's horrible" Sam bit her lip

"Well what is it?"

"I know what you've been thinking. You want to join me. I'm here to help you…"

"What?" you want me to die?" Freddie stared at her.

"No! Believe me I don't!" she exclaimed. "It's my mission. I'm an angel now. God sent me on a mission to help you. He said it's your time to come home." She cried.

"I don't want to die… not yet anyway."

"You'll love it there. Nobody's sad, and true love lives on forever. We can be together… but if you don't come, I'll never see you ever again. Even after you die. We'll be separated by a white picket fence. That's how it works" Sam said in a melancholy way. Freddie took a deep breath and calmed himself down.

"Okay. I'll come. But how?" Sam smiled a sad smile.

"You can commit suicide, or God can bring you home" She cringed when she said it.

"What's the least painful for everyone else?"

"I'll call God" she winked. And with that she disappeared and he was left alone.


	11. Chapter 11

After Sam left Freddie thought about his choice. Was he really doing this for himself or for Sam? What would happen when everyone else heard about his death? He wasn't quite sure he wanted to die. There was so much he wanted to with his life. But heaven seemed like such a wonderful place. An even better Earth. He loved Sam, but didn't he need to move on?

"Sam!" he cried out and in an instant Sam was there"

"What's wrong?" She asked. It wasn't like she cared, but she could at least act pretty well.

"I don't want to die" He sobbed "I want to be with you, but I want to do so much still"

"I…I understand" Sam was quiet. The quiet she got when she was thinking about what to say next.

"Well then this is goodbye Freddie" she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him. He kissed her back until they were frenching. Then she was gone. He would never see her again. Not even when he died. They'd be separated. But he was doing this for the better right? Then why did he feel so awful? He loved her. He really did. But his chance was gone. He would never see her again. What if he had taken a chance? Would he have felt better? He wanted to live. But he wanted to see her again.

That night, Freddie laid in his bed, wishing he had gone with her. The pain he was feeling in his heart was unbearable. He couldn't take it. He wanted her. He was going to join her.

Freddie checked his clock. 3:20 Am. He got out of bed and walked over to his desk. He sat down and flipped open his computer. He went to video settings and recorded.

"Hey guys. By the time someone finds and watches this, I will be dead. I'm choosing to end my life because I can't take it anymore. In the month that Sam has been gone. I have died inside. There's nothing left of me anymore. I loved her. She was what kept me going all these years. If I didn't have her, I would have been dead a long time ago. And now she's gone. So I'm going too.

I'm okay with it. Really. I'm choosing to do this because heaven seems so… wonderful. I'm sorry that I am going to cause everyone pain and heartache when I die, but please know I didn't suffer. I'm happy. I'm going to a place where I've always dreamed of. I just have one request… actually two.

First, if you go into my sock drawer, find the black sock with yellow stripes. Inside is roughly $100,000 dollars. Use it to bail Carly out of jail. She never meant to shoot Sam. It was an accident. She was lowering the gun and accidentally pulled the trigger. I know my friend. She doesn't do well under pressure and that's exactly what happened that night.

Second, please bury me next to Sam. I want to be with her. Thank you, and goodbye" and he signed off. He got up from his desk and walked down the hall to his mom's room. She was sleeping perfectly sound with a little mask pulled over her eyes.

"Mom" Freddie shook her shoulders.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm doing it because I'll be happy there with her. I promise. Your baby boy will be in good hands." Then he left the bedroom. He walked to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet over the sink. Out came his allergy pills. Then his Tylenol. And finally, his cold medicine. He stuck the containers in his pocket. Then he left the bathroom into the living room. He slipped on a pair of shoes and left.


	12. Chapter 12

The lobby of the Bushwell was extremely quiet. Lewbert was sitting in his office chair sleeping soundly. He left the Bushwell, the only home he had ever known, determined to never return. He walked in the pouring rain thinking of Sam. She loved the rain. Well actually she loved to curl up on the couch and watch it rain, while she made fun of himOutside, it was raining, like everyday since Sam left. Literally. When she died, everything seemed to die with her. The flowers she brought to the dinner they never had, the sunlight, his heart.

Hurriedly, he jogged until he reached the cemetery. There were big iron gates blocking off the entrance. Distantly, he could make out his friends headstone as one of the newer ones. He climbed the gate and walked to her headstone. He knelt down in the mud and took the pills out of his pocket. Freddie swallowed a handful of pills at a time until he felt dizzy and blacked out.

He stopped breathing

And suddenly, he was floating away. He could see his body and the cemetery below him but soon it disappeared and all he could see were clouds. And bright light. He knew where he was going. Heaven.

Freddie stopped flying and was able to walk on the clouds. He walked and walked for what seemed like forever until he came to a clearing. It was deserted except for a large golden gate. On the other side was another clearing, filled with angels. Sam was in there. He knew it.

As he approached the gate, it opened. As he stepped inside, a small pair of wings popped from his back. All the angels looked at him oddly and walked into the depths of heaven. All except one. Sam. She walked towards Freddie and embraced him

"You came" she smiled.


End file.
